Paige, let's talk about sex, baby, let's talk about you and me. omg jk
But really, here's the dilemma:
Studies show that couples who DON'T live together before marriage are 30% less likely to get a divorce. Those of us who want to "test drive" the situation are basically doomed to Divorceville! Why do you think this is? Is it likely that the hyper-religious are happier than normal folks, or do they just keep their mouths shut better? Additionally, suppose I wanted to be born again. Do you think that I (or you for that matter) could actually enter into a relationship, having that person know that while we've had sex before, we are NOT going to do it with them until we're married? Is this really feasible or fair? Which do you think is better: Abstaining from sex and co-habitation until marriage or the opposite? Just how much does sex have to do with happiness in a relationship? Should sex even be tied in with religion?
Recap of the questions posed:
1. Why do you think that the above statistic is true?
2. Is it acceptable to have had sex in the past, but later decide to wait until marriage?
3. Is it better in your opinion to abstain from sex and co-habitation until marriage, or the verso?
4. How much bearing does sex have on satisfaction with a relationship?
5. Should sex even be tied in with religion?
Let's hear what you have to say!
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Samanthia. you seriously ROCKKKK!!! you are my favorite and sent to me for a reason.seriously. you were.
ReplyDeleteanyway(s)[<< if you are from minnesota]...
divorceville huh ?... nobody likes that. but honestly i dont know EXACTLY why that statistic is that statistic. ha and maybe that is because the "happy-living-together" couple thinks that things will be the same after the marriage but subconsciously want it to be or expect it to be different. it wont be. i think that couples shouldnt try and "play house." of course it sounds like a good idea... lets live together and see if we can get along. yay.... NO. not a good idea. its a good idea to trial run a car. its a good idea to try on a shoe before buying it but a trial run isnt a good idea before marriage.... why you may ask my samanthia ?
1. newly married couples know that when they start out a marriage that they need to make a deliberate effort to make it work. not "test runner couples." getting married changes what you expect from yourself and your partner. and if it doesnt change that presents a problem for each of the people in the couple.
2. sex which is what people are trying out is what should ESPECIALLY be NOT be tried out.it is destroyed by the try out.
3.by living together and not being married there is no public agreement for forever. it is a month to month if-you-keep-me-happy i will keep you around agreement.
4. those who live together miss something in the maturing together through marriage process. today in society people are living by their if-it-feels-good-do-it mentality. willingness to defer SEX for marriage is a sign of maturity.People who make a commitment and accept total responsibility for their choices are more likely to develop self-respect, personal pride, and integrity.
5. those who live together often have a "marriage of convenience" or a "marriage of compatibility" rather than a "marriage of commitment.' convenience is disposable. commitment indicates forever.
of course there is always the couples that will make convenience work, that will make commitment work.
and of course there are the couples whose commitment will not make things work.
second question...
it is definitely acceptable to have had sex in the past but then decide to wait. it is your choice. people fuck up. people make ignorant decisions. that's like saying that if you steal and then chose to not to steal anymore that it isnt possible to not steal again. maybe. ha. im not certain if that makes sense but basically we have free will. and that means that we can change our minds about whatever whenever. also because you and i are women we definitely have the prerogative to do what we want and change our mind.
sex can blind you. sex can make you think something that isnt real is real. having sex before marriage can trick people into thinking that what they have can last. and as we know... sex will NOT last. at all. dont count on it. many people will trick themselves into thinking that that is what will take them all the way. WRONG. SO WRONG.
idk about abstaining from sex before marriage. i sadly almost think it is impossible these days. wouldnt that be in a perfect world ? wouldnt it be great to save yourself for the one who you will be with forever ? wouldnt it be great to look into the eyes into the person whom you will spend the rest of your life with and say I HAVE WAITED FOR YOU. I HAVE WITHSTOOD ALL TEMPTATION FOR YOU. I HAVE LOVED YOU AND WAITED FOR YOU EVEN THOUGH I DIDNT KNOW YOU YET. I HAD SO MUCH RESPECT FOR YOU, MY EVENTUAL LIFE PARTNER THAT I WAITED FOR YOU.
wouldnt it be nice ? sure.
but wouldnt it be nice if everyone could just get along.? wouldnt it be nice if everyone in the world could have food and a home to live in..? world peace ? yes please! but its just not possible... is that cynical ? maybe.
4. sex in a relationship shouldnt have much bearing but HONESTLY... i think it does have bearing.
5. yes it should. religion guides people in their everyday life and sex is a part of everyday life.
people should do what they want and do what they makes them happy. but fuck immediate gratification generation. and to a certain extent. but isnt everything like that ?
im actually torn. really torn on this subject. but im glad you brought this up.
I LOVE YOU MISS SAMANTHIA. and idk how i did on my first ever blog but i tried.
<3
I would definitely say that I may CHOOSE to abstain from sex if I want to, but would any boy put up with that from me, considering I'd do it for someone else, but not for them? I can safely say that the only type of person likely to be cool with that would have to be virginal themselves, and even then, would they want someone who had so little conviction? How many boys are confident enough in themselves that they would not feel extremely inadequate because their girlfriend has screwed in the past, but will not deign to do so anymore now that they're with them? We're totally part of a very insecure age group, and I think we should take that into consideration.
ReplyDeleteAs for Religion and Sex, I would like to point out that there was NO SUCH THING as marriage when the bible was written. Marriage as we know it today, with recognition by public records, the church, and the state wasn't around until the 1750's, which, when you think about it, is not long at all! If your religion is based on the bible, and when it was written marriage didn't exist, how can it mandate that pre-marital sex is a sin? Additionally, when the bible addresses 'adultery,' could they possibly mean simply turning from God, and not your significant other?
I agree with most of your points, but these two ideas, I wanted to present to you.
xoxoxo